ResponsiBILLity!

"Hey! I just spoke to *blank* and she's a teacher now! That could've been you. You went to college! You're so smart...oh well."

Oh parents...

There is a serious problem going on in the homes of many families around the world. No, this is not a blog post aimed at reconstructing parenting styles. This is a post that details my...and other people's...experiences when it comes to adult parenting.

Remember the days when we were little and we had dreams? I do. I wanted to be an actress. My mom supported that at one point. She took me on audition after audition. Star Search here...Mickey Mouse Club there... Then it was brushed to the side. But I still wanted to be an actress. My aunt, Tussy, stepped in. Took me to a broadway audition for the Lion King. We got lost. Our directions led to a liquor store on the lower west side in Manhattan. Missed my opportunity. I learned all the songs. Made up some dances. Practiced with some friends. I was so ready. I even made a fake "portfolio/resume" to bring with me, just in case. But yeah...shit happens. Well in this case, nothing happened.

It took me some time to realize that I never really wanted to be an actress. I just wanted to be in film/television. Not on screen but behind screen. At the time, I was too young to realize that all that stuff required more than just performing in front of a camera. I didn't realize that I wasn't infactuated by the performers, but by the story. I didn't realize that there is a whole community of people behind the camera doing all of the work to make everything possible. When I watched movies/film, I would create sequels in my dreams or write them down in my notebook. I created a whole alternate universe. It was fun for me. It wasn't until later that I realized I didn't want to be an actress...I wanted to create stories!

Anyway, my point is...when does the support of your children's dreams end? Ten? Fifteen? We stop telling our children they can be whatever the want and start pushing them into the so called "real world" of bills and responsibilities. NO MORE EASY STREET...as if it ever was.

My mother, her friends, my family, their friends...are all stressed out people with a life full of bills and responsibilities. If that is the real world, I don't want anything to do with it.

But of course, "supportive" family members tell you (in so many words) that following your dreams is a mistake and will only lead to homelessness, mounds of bills, and depression. Really? As if your world is any different?

My aunt told me a while back that she has friends that actually work JUST to do what they want to do. They get bullshit ass jobs just to save enough money to fly to FRANCE and SPAIN and BRAZIL! They work to travel, they work to buy that used car they've been eyeing all year. They work to go on a roadtrip to VEGAS! They work to follow their dreams.

I mentioned that to someone who lived their life in the "Real World". She couldn't even imagine a person like that. Her response was, "what about bills? A place to live? Debt?"

Do any of those things really matter or REALLY take a toll on you when you're LIVING!? And I mean LIVING...as in the LIFE you REALLY want to live! Doing the things you always wanted to do. Supporting your dream. Moving forward...instead of in a never ending circle...or cycle.

Bills can't be avoided. But I want my bills to be for things that I don't regret or for things I didn't HAVE to do...but wanted to do and needed to do for me to feel like an actual person...or an actual human being living on EARTH...which is bigger than just a small apartment in the Bronx.

Paying off a college loan for Art School because that was always your dream...instead of paying for a college loan in Engineering or Psychology because someone told you that is what's making the most money nowadays. Seriously?

What kind of life is that? Not a life I want to live. Not a life anyone should be living.

When we live in a world where new and old college graduates are sharing a register at a fast food restaurant in order to "make it by"...we are doing something seriously wrong.

How much of a whole person can you be when you have to stop yourself from impulses because you have to DO something that needs to be done according to the life others have painted for you? How much of a whole person can you be when you've never traveled outside of your state or your country?

I've never gone anywhere! That sucks!

I want to travel all over the world!

How good can that meal you've been eating for the past 3 months taste when you've never eaten at a restaurant in Africa...or India?

I want to experience new flavors.

How good can a spring in NYC feel when you've never walked through the rainforest in Equador?

I want to go there.

You can't appreciate the things you have or the things you want until you venture outside of yourself and your surroundings and really discover yourself and discover your beingness.

The world is too big to constrict yourself.

My advice to you...which is advice that has been given to me?

Don't construct your life in a way that you NEED to make money. Do the things you WANT to do...things you would do for FREE...things that take up most of your mental space...things you know you can't live without...AND THE MONEY WILL COME!

Bills are inevitable...but you can always decide what you pay for.

As a human being...given this AMAZING opportunity to EXIST in this AMAZING world...it is your responsibility.

*such a corny ending...but I'm sure you saw it coming. ;-)*

I Betcha Love Can Make it Better...

This song is dedicated to my hun bun! You know who you are! Love you! Erykah Badu is a Queen...and so are you!

"Bag Lady"

oooh oooh oooh ooooh
oooh oooh oooh ooooh oooh

Bag lady you gon hurt your back
draggin all them bags like that.
I guess nobody ever told you how
All you must hold on to is you, is you, is you

One day all them bags gon get in your way
one day all them bags gon get in your way
I said one day all them bags gon get in your way

So pack light, hooo hooo

Bag lady you gon miss your bus
you cant hurry up cause you got to much stuff
When they see you comin niggas take off runnin
from you,its true ,oh yes they dooo

One day he gon say you crowdin my space
One day he gon say you crowdin my space
I said one day he gon say you crowdin my space

So pack light yeah yea yea yea yea yeah

Girl I know
Sometimes its hard and we cant let go
Ooh if someone hurts you o so bad inside
and you cant deny it you cant slip by it

Sooooooo if you still breathin
oooo oooo ooooooo
ooooo ooooo oooooooooo

So where my garbage bag lady
let it go let it go let it go let it go
And what about the grocery bag lady
I bet ya love could make it better
Im talkin to my Gucci bag ladies
let it go let it go let it go let it go
And what about my paper sack ladies
I bet ya love could make it better
What about my nickel bag ladies
let it go let it go let it go let it go
Light pack when ya pack ya bags ladies
Bet ya love could make it better

And what about my booty bag ladies
let it go let it go let it go let it go
And what about the cheap sack a babies
Bet ya love could make it better
What about the plastic bag ladies
Let it go let it go let it go let it go
And my baby baggin mommas
lets go let it go lets go let it go

All my bookbag ladies
let it go let it go let it go let it go
If ya livin like a bag lady
let it go let it go let it go let it go

INVINCIBLE

My name is NOVA sparks and I can do whatever the fuck I want!

(once you can say this outloud and mean it, you become invincible.)

There is power in words...for everything else, there's silence. 

PUBLI-SHIT

Hello Guys...I'M BACK!

After a super long hiatus...much longer than I would've liked, I am back with some good and bad news. No I do not have something good to say and then something bad to say. I only have one thing to say that just so happens to be both good and bad. For me, it is GREAT news and is evidence of my growth during this self-publishing journey. 

TODAY, I AM UNPUBLISHING THE DOME AND THE DOMEREVELATION!

But not permanently. Both books will be back as soon as the DOMEresistance is ready to be published. So not only will you guys get back the two, but the entire series in completion! Here is why I'm doing this!

When I published around this time last year, I was pretty green and wet behind the ears. I had no idea what I was doing or the process but I did everything myself; editing, formatting, everything...with some help from another author friend...my book twin...you know who you are. 

I was so excited and thought it was the best thing in the world and it still is! But now that I'm already a year and some change into this whole process, I've learned SO MUCH and I want to do a rewind and re-do! And I think that I am entitled to that. Actually BECAUSE I have self-published, I feel so happy that  I can even do this without having some pub house hovering over me or telling me no. Here are some concrete reasons I'm starting over:

1) Some parts of my book have been changed. Not the story at all, but during the re-editing process, I have strengthened some scenes and really sharpened up all of the minor errors in the story that some people have been mentioning in their reviews. (see, I listen)

2) New covers are in the works. Don't get me wrong, I am IN LOVE with my original covers of the Carina Nebula and the Rose galaxy on books 1 and 2, and I so LOVE NASA for giving me written permission to use them, but I do want better, more professional, covers that I will love and cherish forever. Which leads me to number three.

3) PAPERBACKS, BABY! My books are being formatted for paperback! Which means...all of you people who have been writing me and asking where are the paperbacks because you don't have an ereader, will soon be able to purchase my books and read them in PUBLIC...or at home...whichever you prefer! 

4) Goodbye old book trailers and HELLO new trailer! I have some trailers posted on youtube for the DOME that I had so much fun making, but I'm not a professional and if I want to be great, I need PROFESSIONAL work that looks timeless and awesome. Also, I feel it would make better sense to do a grand book trailer for the entire series instead of a different trailer for each individual book. This trailer, of course, will feature the new covers.

5) BLOG REVAMP! This blog, which is my home (even though I stay away quite a bit while I'm working) can use some serious TLC. I'm not a web maniac so luckily for me, I'm getting help from an amazing person who is absolutely GREAT at this stuff. His name is William Green or as I like to call him, Mr. Wayward! Stick around to see how great this place will look! Which brings me to number six.

6) Mr. Wayward is also in the process of developing some MERCHANDISE! I am a sucker for a good t-shirt and some mugs, especially if it means something. Having these things is like a dream come true! No this will not be simply a "wear this with my book on it so it can sell!" It will be something that you would want to wear or have that just so happens to be from my book: things with funny quotes on them, etc. He is great at that as well.

7) I want to go VIRAL! And I will! My marketing campaign after this is all complete will be BANANAS....B-A-N-A-N-A-S! It will be soooo cool and I guarentee it will make you go....what? And in my opinion, the best thing you can do as a marketer is to make your target audience ask themselves..."what?" Because then they want to know... :-)

So I know that seems like a lot and it is, but it will be soooo worth it! My baby is this series and I want to make sure it is the BEST it can possibly be. How long will this whole thing take?

Maybe 6 to 8 months! I KNOW that's like a torturous amount of time for me...but I will keep you guys posted along the way! And I promise to not be a stranger and to come back home more often. 

THIS WILL BE GREAT! AND I AM BEYOND EXCITED!!!!

Like Water

I'm a member of this company that offers free movie screenings to all of its members and I try to go to every single one. It's really cool. Last week I saw "The Five Year Engagement" which doesn't come out in theatres until April 27th. I watched "The Fourth Kind" with them about two months before it hit theatres. The great part of this is that we get to see the "rough draft" of the film and sometimes even get to comment on it to the writers or producers or film representatives that may be in attendance.

Last night, I took my mom out to see "The Paperboy", a film by Director Lee Daniels (Precious). He explained that the film was super duper rough and unfinished. Boy was he not lying. The star, Jack (played by Zac Efron) gets attacked by jellyfish...yet there were no jellyfish. Ward (played by Matthew Mcconaughey) stumbled on his lines a bit. Camermen had their hands on the lens. It was really funny but a great experience. Of course, non of this will make it to the final cut and I'm sure the movie will be perfect! Really good movie, so be sure to see it when it comes out in theatres November 2012, lol.

Now to the point at hand.

Usually these advanced private screenings are also attended by the screenwriters, producers, etc. of the film so that they can talk to the audience and gauge their reaction. Sometimes we're even filmed with a night-vision camera while we watch the movie so that the big dogs back in LA can see how we react to different parts of the film and create their movie trailers based on that. I've always tried to attend these things because I feel its an AMAZING opportunity to meet these industry folks as someone who's trying to get an "in" with these guys. A lot of the time though, we never know who's who. They don't wear nametags. They look just like everyone else, and they do that on purpose so they don't get hounded. But last night was different.

During the screening of "The Paperboy", the actual DIRECTOR was there. I almost pissed my pants. Seriously (this part is important later). While my mother and I waited on line, the film representative came to us (out of all people) and asked if we wanted to stay behind and answer some questions from the film crew and director. I WAS LIKE, "HELLS YEAH!". Ofcourse my mother didn't want to but she pretended to be excited about it.  We both got little name tags so we could be identified later as "part of the team".

After the film, which was about 2hrs long, my mother and I had to take a piss SO BAD, so we ran out really fast and went to the bathroom. I was done as quickly as I could and ran back to the theatre. When I got back, the film representative said, "Oh, I thought you guys left so I gave your spots up to some other people. So we don't need you anymore. Sorry." (I told you that part would be important later)

I was so upset but I didn't let it show. When I went outside of the theatre, all pissed off and ready to cry...I saw the most beautiful sight ever.

There, talking to his friend, was Director Lee Daniels. I HAD TO TALK TO HIM! I HAD TO TELL HIM ABOUT ME and HOW I WANTED TO WORK WITH HIM and that FLYING TO LA ANYTIME WOULD BE NO PROBLEM! But being as polite as I am, I decided to wait for him to be finished with his conversation...which is more than I can say for someone else.

As soon as Lee Daniels took a pause, some woman jumped in front of me, stepped on my toe, and grabbed his hand. I wouldn't have been that mad if the things she wanted to say to him fell along the lines of what I wanted to say. BUT...her words just pissed me off.

"So what's going to happen next, Mr. Daniels? Is Jack going to go to jail? I was confused by that ending. What happened?"

Rage bubbled in my chest as she went on and on asking the most time wasting questions I've ever heard in my life! My mouth got dry and my eyes began to burn as I fought back tears.

Director Lee Daniels answered her questions and immediately went inside for the discussion with his people. I met my mother downstairs, told her what happened...and she bought me a beer.

Should I have been as aggressive as that woman? Should I have been risky and rude enough to interrupt Mr. Daniels during his conversation? Did I let what probably was my only opportunity, slip through my fingers like water?

I will never know. But what I do know is that I will, from now on, attend EVERY SINGLE ADVANCED SCREENING I'M INVITED TO...with business cards...with TV/FILM treatments in tow...with a pitch ready in my mind for everything I've ever written...and soon...with paperback copies of the DOME trilogy all ready to go!

Why?

Because you never know!

NOVA's PEEP TALK

TOPICS HAVE BEEN POSTED!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/129964827120243/

ALL THE TOPICS ARE POSTED FOR NOVA's PEEP TALK! REMEMBER, EVENT STARTS MARCH 3-10! REQUEST TO JOIN! IT'S GOING TO BE SOOOOO MUCH FUN! NOTHING IS TABOO! I've posted topics for sex discussions, relationships, books, and games! If this is a success, NOVA's PEEP TALK will be coming back real soon! JOIN JOIN JOIN! oh, and TELL YOUR FRIENDS! :-)

From TV/FILM to BOOKS? WTF?

I don't know what happened or what changed in the last couple of months, but something is definitely different. If you haven't noticed, I sort of stopped marketing my DOME books. It started off involuntarily, and then sprouted into deliberateness. I had a bunch of conversations with a bunch of different people in my life and the conversations were always about their lives, yet everything said always hit home for me in one way or another. Let me tell you about one conversation with a family friend whose name I won't mention.

We were sitting in her car coming from a business meeting and the conversation of life after college came up. She revealed to me that she has multiple degrees and has plans of heading back to school. In my mind I was completely baffled. Why would anyone want to go to school so much? I fucking hate school and never want to look it in its face again! But that's just me. Anyway, I asked her why and her response was, and I'm paraphrasing here, "the more degrees you have, the more money you make." Again I was baffled. In my mind, graduate school...is not cheap. Everyone I know who has a degree have CRAZY student loans and they can't even enjoy a paycheck without having to put half of it towards their student loan debt. That's not a life I would want to live. But putting all that aside, I thought to myself again. "But you work as a teacher in a detention center." I have nothing against teachers whatsoever, but when I think of lots of degrees, my mind just doesn't go to teaching in a detention center and making the same amount of money as someone with way less academic credentials than you. But in her mind and based on what she told me, after I danced around the question I really wanted to ask, she feels as if her current state of employment represented to her a sense of economic security while she works towards what she really wants to do which is work for the government (some job I can't remember).

Somehow, my politeness faded and I just came out and asked, "When do you plan on doing what it is that you really want to do?" She was almost speechless. I could tell no one had ever asked her that question before. She started to confess to me in an almost depressed tone. "(paraphrasing) I started teaching just so an organization would pay for my masters degree and then I got afraid of walking away and being unemployed so I just stayed. And now I'm so upset with myself because I let getting a weekly paycheck overshadow my hopes and dreams. I had goals. I have goals. But I also have a son and bills to pay and I can't see myself walking away right now especially after I waited so long to make my move."

Enough with the story, you get the point.

When I was a teenager, I was surrounded by all kinds of people. People with degrees, HS diplomas, GED certifications, no certifications, etc... But I never knew (at the time) a single person who was doing professionally what they really wanted to do. It wasn't a good example for me. At that age, I needed to have hope that making money and being happy could exist together, especially in my community. I had people who dropped their dreams of becoming a professional dancer to be a bus driver with their only reason being that the salary was good enough to pay for bills. I knew people with a Master's degree who were working as a manager at a supermarket. I also know people with clear goals that began work somewhere just to have economic security UNTIL they got their big break, but got so caught up in the economic security that they just never left. Now for people who aren't motivated to get an education and need motivation, seeing all this isn't motivation. Why go to college and spend all this money and get all this debt knowing that I probably will end up driving a bus or working retail regardless...ESPECIALLY in this economy. People aren't going to school anymore and to be honest...I don't blame them.

So let's fast forward...

I always told myself that I would do what I really want to do and not let other things get in my way. Well, I'm pretty sure I failed because I'm not doing what I really want to do. I'm actually one of those people now. I have a clear goal and started something thinking it would be a way to get to where I really want to go. I want to create TV shows and write FILMS so I published one of my TV shows as a book thinking it would generate enough buzz so that I can have a better chance of getting development executive attention. So where did I go wrong? I began converting more of my TV treatments into books. I was actually planning to write more and more books. No excuses...I just did.

I'm a writer. YEAH I SAID IT! I'm a writer. Not just any writer. I write TV shows and FILMS! That's what I do. I do it for fun. I don't get paid for it. I do it because I enjoy it. When I was younger, I never thought I could do it for a living so I never considered myself a writer. When I was younger I always thought, you go to school to get a job and pay your bills. I never thought I could do what I would do free as a profession. My life proved that to me. All my teachers were miserable and always angry. All the city workers I knew were always irritated. My mother always came home tired and upset. And they were all getting paid and paying their bills. It wasn't until I got older that I realized that my mother had a dream. She wanted to be a flight attendant and then she really wanted to be a nurse. She never did either of those things. She got close once...but it just never happened.

Keeping all this in mind...I said... I'M GOING TO WRITE A TELEVISION SERIES AND GET IT ON THE AIR...and maybe I'll do films, too! I had a plan and everything.

I wrote two films and six television show treatments. surprise surprise. But I only let people read two, "the DOME" (formally "the DOME project") and "In Perfect Harmony". I had it all worked out for myself.

1) Get the DOME on television (not sell it, but be apart of it from beginning to end) (a stretch, I know)

2) If everyone continues to suggest DOME would be better as a film series, let it happen (had to think about that one)

3) Make your movies on your own. (write, produce, direct)Get a dedicated team and fight for a slot at the Tribeca Film Festival or Sundance Film Festival (and stop crying everytime they come around and I'm not there. It's my own fault)

4) Start a production company (that give first timers a chance)

5) ?

Of course things need to happen in order for each of these things listed above can happen. Those are just the big 4!

So knowing what I've always wanted. Knowing what I never wanted to admit. Knowing all of this...how did I end up here?

I self-published two books. Not just any books...but books based on my Television show. Writing books was never in my plans. EVER! Yet I get so worked up and upset at my chosen "career". It took all this time to realize that my brain has been screaming to me... "DON'T GET CAUGHT UP IN THIS!" So yeah...I'm going to do what I WANT TO DO! But I started this journey so I will see it through. the DOME trilogy will be self-published in full. But I REFUSE to get caught up. Maybe I will write and self-publish more books as a hobbie, but I'm done converting original films/tv treatments into books. It's in your face "your dreams will never work so do this instead". My books for now on will be books that are written as books and not a second resort. But if I never write another book again, I won't kill myself over it.

No more crying.

No more regret.

No more excuses.